Lies My Grandpa Told Me

I used to be (and by used to be, I mean still am) a huge dork. I loved to hang out at the library. It was here that I discovered something I think Butch* discovered many years ago: a need to redeem the family.

As far as I know at this time every male Welty who has gotten married, has also gotten divorced. Multiple times. And this is the least of sins committed by my father's side of the family. My family has in its ranks: liars, criminals, and junkies! Oh, my!


Butch, is a liar. I think for good purpose. Growing up I heard all sorts of stories, that at the time I found true. As an adult I can see that clearly they are not.

Here are my two favorites:

1) Welty's are Spanish royalty. (FACT: the origin of the last name "Welty" is Swiss-German)

2) The Welty's have a trust fund in a French bank that we are not allowed to access because if we did, we would bankrupt all of France. (FACT: No we don't.)


You may be thinking to yourself, "Tommy! Maybe you are spanish royalty, and if you have that kind of money in France, get it!" But you're not that stupid.


This kind of behavior is a great preface for the Welty's. And as I go on the theraputic journey of family history and generational sin, I think it's a good place to start. But, I kind of understand where Butch is coming from.

Like I said earlier, I was (am) a huge dork and I spent most of my days in middle school at the local library. Like all kids I loved to see my name in any database.** And one day, I checked out Welty in the library system, and lo and behold, there we were! There is an author named Eudora Welty, and aparently she is a great author (I haven't bothered to actually read any of her work).


So, I understand Butch's attempts to redeem that family (and nothing says redemption better then a handful of lies).


When I have kids of my own, they will believe that Eudora Welty is their great-aunt.


Maybe a lie, maybe not.


Probabaly a lie.

----------
*Butch is my Grandpa Welty's nick-name. I find it nothing short of hillarious. So, that's what he'll be called for all intensive purposes.

** Do all kids want to see there names in databases? I'de like to know.

----------

for more information on Eudora Welty:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudora_Welty