Why I should be the next govenor of Illinois

In light of yesterdays exciting news, I have decided to run for public office.

If you turn to many news sources you will find that Rod Blagojevic, a govenor who was not corrupt like his predeccsor, was found corrupt. This continues a long history of corruption at the top level of leadership in the Land of Lincoln.

So, today I have decided to run for govenor.

My campaign slogan:
"Any jackass can do this job. I'm that jackass!"

My Policies on...
Education - Mo' Money!
Gay Marriage - Marriage is a spiritual issue, let the churches decide.
Civil Unions for homosexual couples - Lets do it!
Corruption - All for it (Essential for being an Illinois Govenor)
Abortion - Pro-life
Health Care - Socialize it, Baby!
Leaving the Union - Make it happen.
Raising Taxes - How about ending taxes? What do you think of that? Of course, if we're socializing health care and giving mo' money to fund education then I'll actually need to raise 'em. Or, since I'm pro-corruption I'll just have somebody pay me big bucks for a senate seat and use that money... you decide.

I have some other great ideas, too. I'll wait till I'm on the campaign trail to share them. Till then here is why I'm running:

I figure I am from a small town (population as of the year of our Lord 2000: 2,900). And being a well known person in a small town is basically being a mayor. And I plan on being an unexperienced govenor of a large state. So, with all of this I should be a vice-president contender in 2012 or even 2016 (I'm willing to wait).